We just received word today that we've been approved to
ADOPT!!! It has been a long, long, long and very time consuming 6 months. But, we are finally official!! (Cyndi & Margene.....this is our big news). This is just the first step....now, we need to find the children that are suppose to be part of our family and then work through all the hoops to make them ours. In case you are wondering, "Where did this all come from" Here's the scoop. (Warning it's a long one...I'll try to hit on all the possible questions you may have.....get some popcorn) It's been an amazing miracle and blessing. I have come so close to my Savior. I just love it!
About 6-7 years ago I was walking with a friend and was discussing infertility and all the emotional stages that I went through. It was such an enormously tough time for me. I was trying to explain things to my friend that I knew there was no way she would understand. Infertility is just such a loss. It's difficult to explain. Even though the discussion initially started off about helping a friend of hers , she seemed to sense some spiritual cues and it soon turned toward me. She mentioned adopting and I kind of waived it off because I'd thought about that before but it just wasn't something that would work with me. Well, from that day on, little things started to happen in my life that had me face to face with adoption. Like, the next Sunday at church, the combined Bishop's discussion was on LDS services adoptions and teenage pregnancy. Just little things like that would happen here and there. Slowly I opened my heart to it and I decided to mention it to Bob. When we were on a date, I asked him what he thought about the idea of adoption. He paused for a moment and then said, "Yeah, that would be great." A little more investigation and time went by and we decided that it wasn't just our decision. We needed to ask Amanda and Nathan. At a family home evening, we brought it up. They both thought about it and said very decisively, "NO" We asked why and got some reasonable answers. So, we dropped the subject. We were all doing great but our lives kept running into situations with adoption. The biggest one recently was one of my good friends adopted a baby and I was able to be close to her through all the struggles and problems. It was an emotional roller coaster. I would think, phew...maybe it's a good thing we're not adopting...but then, there remained this nagging feeling of...well maybe.... I was especially touched when we attended the sealing of this new little baby to them in the temple. My heart was slowly being softened and I no longer had any rejections of adopting. But, I knew it wouldn't be possible unless EVERYONE in the family felt the same way I did. Bob and I both were on board, but I felt prompted to wait until the kids wanted to also. So, I just kept quiet.
Then, out of the blue this last October. Nathan mentioned something like, "Mom, I think we should adopt." I had a momentary loss of all speech.....where did this come from? I hadn't even talked about adopting for a few years now. I finally found my voice and asked if he just said that he would like to adopt. He said, "Yeah, I guess so". Then Amanda, who was standing in the room piped in with a , "Yeah, I'd like to also". What was happening???? Stop everything!!! I sat down with the kids and asked them a few more questions. I soon learned that the spirit had been working on them also for the past 3 years. I wanted to cry right there in front of them. Did they even realize how amazing and wonderful they are? That night when Bob came home. The three of us (and Toby) gathered around him and excitedly told him that we wanted to adopt. He was as shocked as I was. The entire night was spent talking about the what ifs and answering questions.
The next month I spent researching different options and agencies. We decided to work through LDS services and so a few of my dear, dear friends spent time filling out reference forms for us. In January, we were finally able to meet with a man from LDS services. There was just one small problem....for a few days before the meeting, I started to get feelings like LDS services was not the way to go. I shared this with Bob on the way down to our meeting. We both decided on a few questions to make sure to ask and to pay close attention to our feelings. Sure enough, afterward, we both felt STRONGLY to go a different direction. We should go through the State. These are children that are currently in foster care. We put things on hold at LDS services and went head first into the State of Oregon. We had to do a mandatory set of classes (24 hours worth) before they would allow us to apply. So, Bob and I went to all the classes. They were a huge blessing and we came home and shared various scenerios with the kids. It opened it up to a lot of "what if...." discussion and we were able to share more of what we wanted and didn't want in an adoption. Then we did the normal application process.....and our dear friends had to spend more time and re-do a reference questionnaire for us...plus our parents were able to do one for us this time. I have to do a shout out for our parents and my friends Candace, Katie, Clarka and Heather...thank you!! We then did all the paper work, finance reports, FBI check, physical, drug tests, home inspection, etc. I even answered a questionnaire of 121 questions. My answers ended up being 22 pages long. Talk about time consuming!! During this time, we decided as a family to keep it to ourselves....just in case we were denied or our thoughts changed.
We decided that we would be willing to adopt up to 3 children. Oh my!!!.... our family could grow significantly!! As I look back over the years, I can see how Heavenly Father has prepared us. We are at a perfect position right now. The kids are at a perfect spot in their lives also. I can see how wise it is to do this now and not 3 years ago. I also can't believe how each step of the way has been accompanied by an even more solid confirmation from the spirit. We know there will be trials and struggles ahead. This is NOT going to be easy. But, we also know that this will bring us more joy and happiness than we can ever imagine. If it's anything close to the spiritual promptings we've received through these last few years....we'll be set! Now, it's going to be amazing to see the way the Lord works with which children come into our home. I can't wait to meet them!! We are all excited...with a little scared of the unknown attached also :)
