We just received word today that we've been approved to ADOPT!!! It has been a long, long, long and very time consuming 6 months. But, we are finally official!! (Cyndi & Margene.....this is our big news). This is just the first step....now, we need to find the children that are suppose to be part of our family and then work through all the hoops to make them ours. In case you are wondering, "Where did this all come from" Here's the scoop. (Warning it's a long one...I'll try to hit on all the possible questions you may have.....get some popcorn) It's been an amazing miracle and blessing. I have come so close to my Savior. I just love it!
About 6-7 years ago I was walking with a friend and was discussing infertility and all the emotional stages that I went through. It was such an enormously tough time for me. I was trying to explain things to my friend that I knew there was no way she would understand. Infertility is just such a loss. It's difficult to explain. Even though the discussion initially started off about helping a friend of hers , she seemed to sense some spiritual cues and it soon turned toward me. She mentioned adopting and I kind of waived it off because I'd thought about that before but it just wasn't something that would work with me. Well, from that day on, little things started to happen in my life that had me face to face with adoption. Like, the next Sunday at church, the combined Bishop's discussion was on LDS services adoptions and teenage pregnancy. Just little things like that would happen here and there. Slowly I opened my heart to it and I decided to mention it to Bob. When we were on a date, I asked him what he thought about the idea of adoption. He paused for a moment and then said, "Yeah, that would be great." A little more investigation and time went by and we decided that it wasn't just our decision. We needed to ask Amanda and Nathan. At a family home evening, we brought it up. They both thought about it and said very decisively, "NO" We asked why and got some reasonable answers. So, we dropped the subject. We were all doing great but our lives kept running into situations with adoption. The biggest one recently was one of my good friends adopted a baby and I was able to be close to her through all the struggles and problems. It was an emotional roller coaster. I would think, phew...maybe it's a good thing we're not adopting...but then, there remained this nagging feeling of...well maybe.... I was especially touched when we attended the sealing of this new little baby to them in the temple. My heart was slowly being softened and I no longer had any rejections of adopting. But, I knew it wouldn't be possible unless EVERYONE in the family felt the same way I did. Bob and I both were on board, but I felt prompted to wait until the kids wanted to also. So, I just kept quiet.
Then, out of the blue this last October. Nathan mentioned something like, "Mom, I think we should adopt." I had a momentary loss of all speech.....where did this come from? I hadn't even talked about adopting for a few years now. I finally found my voice and asked if he just said that he would like to adopt. He said, "Yeah, I guess so". Then Amanda, who was standing in the room piped in with a , "Yeah, I'd like to also". What was happening???? Stop everything!!! I sat down with the kids and asked them a few more questions. I soon learned that the spirit had been working on them also for the past 3 years. I wanted to cry right there in front of them. Did they even realize how amazing and wonderful they are? That night when Bob came home. The three of us (and Toby) gathered around him and excitedly told him that we wanted to adopt. He was as shocked as I was. The entire night was spent talking about the what ifs and answering questions.
The next month I spent researching different options and agencies. We decided to work through LDS services and so a few of my dear, dear friends spent time filling out reference forms for us. In January, we were finally able to meet with a man from LDS services. There was just one small problem....for a few days before the meeting, I started to get feelings like LDS services was not the way to go. I shared this with Bob on the way down to our meeting. We both decided on a few questions to make sure to ask and to pay close attention to our feelings. Sure enough, afterward, we both felt STRONGLY to go a different direction. We should go through the State. These are children that are currently in foster care. We put things on hold at LDS services and went head first into the State of Oregon. We had to do a mandatory set of classes (24 hours worth) before they would allow us to apply. So, Bob and I went to all the classes. They were a huge blessing and we came home and shared various scenerios with the kids. It opened it up to a lot of "what if...." discussion and we were able to share more of what we wanted and didn't want in an adoption. Then we did the normal application process.....and our dear friends had to spend more time and re-do a reference questionnaire for us...plus our parents were able to do one for us this time. I have to do a shout out for our parents and my friends Candace, Katie, Clarka and Heather...thank you!! We then did all the paper work, finance reports, FBI check, physical, drug tests, home inspection, etc. I even answered a questionnaire of 121 questions. My answers ended up being 22 pages long. Talk about time consuming!! During this time, we decided as a family to keep it to ourselves....just in case we were denied or our thoughts changed.
We decided that we would be willing to adopt up to 3 children. Oh my!!!.... our family could grow significantly!! As I look back over the years, I can see how Heavenly Father has prepared us. We are at a perfect position right now. The kids are at a perfect spot in their lives also. I can see how wise it is to do this now and not 3 years ago. I also can't believe how each step of the way has been accompanied by an even more solid confirmation from the spirit. We know there will be trials and struggles ahead. This is NOT going to be easy. But, we also know that this will bring us more joy and happiness than we can ever imagine. If it's anything close to the spiritual promptings we've received through these last few years....we'll be set! Now, it's going to be amazing to see the way the Lord works with which children come into our home. I can't wait to meet them!! We are all excited...with a little scared of the unknown attached also :)
16 comments:
Julie, Bob, Amanda & Nathan-
Let me be the first (at least on your family's blog) to congratulate you all on your decision! I absolutely cannot even think of a family that would be better candidates for the children that will ultimately come into your care. (And since I currently work with a couple of students in state foster care....your potential children will think that THEIR prayers were answered when they will be chosen to come live with your family! Trust me!!!!)
Can't wait to see what happens!
Love you TONS!!!!
-Heather
Julie, Josh sent us a text to check out your blog...and we were so surprised! We are so excited for your family. It is such wonderful news. We are so grateful for the gospel. And we are so touched by the words you shared. Rick and I are in tears. Thank you for sharing your testimony with us. Are prayers are with you.
You totally deserve to eat ice cream (and pickles!) while you await the addition of your new family members! We are delighted at the prospect of having more Tomlinsons to love! My kids have been hoping to be adopted by your family (and Toby!) for a long time now. Maybe we can work something out. (Hee, hee) You will remain in our prayers as you continue this amazing journey.
Love,
The Durrant Family
Beautiful!!! What an increddible experience. My favorite cousin Fred adopted three kids, all siblings and he and his wife are so blessed. They couldn't have any kids for some unknown reason so they took in two foster kids. In the process of adopting Stormy and Dusty they heard they had a older half sister named Dallas so they adopted her too. I dont know what will happen but I do know that any kid would be lucky to be apart of your family. Sending huge hugs!!!!
Emily
Bob, Julie, Amanda, Nathan...
How exciting!! John and I are reading this, beyond elated for your family. Adoption holds a special place in my heart because my oldest brother is adopted. My family wouldn't be complete without him. I'm sure that this road will be tough, but with blessings to more than make up for it. Your family is incredible and we love you guys to pieces. Good luck with the future. Know that our prayers are with you.
Love,
John, Megan, and Daniel
Oh Julie! I am so excited and happy for you and your family! I already know what wonderful influences you all have been in my childrens' lives. I know you are going to change and bless the lives of some deserving children waiting for a new home. Congratulations and well wishes on this new part of your life journey.
Congratulations!
I am so excited for all of you!
I so totally get the infertility issue having to deal with it for so long myself. Many ask us why Paul is so much older than the 3 little brothers.
Isn't it amazing how the Lord works? A testimony of the truthfulness of the gospel.
Praying for those special children meant for your family!
Shelly
Wow, that's truly amazing how the Spirit works! I got goosebumps reading about your journey... and it's just beginning. I'm so happy for you guys!!! What wonderful news... that was worth waiting to hear! Our prayers will be with your family as you find those spirits meant to be with you.
We are so totally thrilled for you! I told Nick the news, and he said "They are so the perfect people to bless children's lives." After going through an adoption and sealing of our niece, we have a testimony of the incredibly spiritual nature of it all. We're anxiously awaiting new updates!
Wow...this news is SO HUGE! When I thought your fireplace remodel was the big project, I was obviously thinking way too small. How did you keep this a secret? I love the long story and all the emotions you told. You have amazing children, anyone who comes in your home will be the luckiest children alive! We love you.
Wow! I'm so excited for your family! You guys are amazing parents, those kids are so lucky to be joining your family. We can't wait to hear all about the kids and see some pictures. What a blessing these kids will be to your family. I'm so happy I can't stop the tears.
Love Ya!!!
Candace
We want to add our congratulations and best wishes. What wonderful experiences you have had and what wonderful blessings are still ahead. We know that you will "Enjoy the Journey" and we'll look forward to hearing about it. Lots of love, RJAKLEB Miller
What an amazing change for all of you, and the kids aren't even here yet! You'll be in our prayers as you follow through on this endeavor. Best of luck with the process. I know it'll be worth it for you.
Congratulations! We are sooo excited for you! Sounds like an amazing experience. We are also excited to get some new additions to the fam:)
Julie!! OH MY GOSH!! I take a break from the blogging world and this is what I come back to?!?!?! I am dying here!! So excited for you and your family and obviously think you guys are going to be amazing. Your story seriously brought me to tears as I have family members going through this same process right now. YOU ARE AN AMAZING WOMAN!!! Can't wait to hear the updates....
Congratulations! You are in our prayers. Children are the best--even when they keep you up all night. LOL. Having a new child in the home really brings the spirit. It is amazing how well our older children have accepted and loved Lily. Even Hunter loves her. I know it will be a great experience for all of you.
Jennifer Wright
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